Wednesday, October 3, 2007

How Tacky!

I decided to subscribe to Jewelers Circular Keystone magazine, aka JCK, recently. Back in my retail jewelery store days, I enjoyed reading the trade rags and especially checking out the ads. It was a good way to see what manufacturers offered, since the store's credit was less than stellar and the real movers and shakers in the industry didn't even send salesmen our way. (I say "our" but I mean "their." I was merely an underappreciated and underpaid employee.) Twelve years later, I don't see much difference in the types of jewelry that are commercially available. But maybe the tacky factor has been upped a little. Or a lot.

Take a look at this beauty by GMI Jewelry. The ad states they carry a "full line of 10K gold" and depicts a collection of tacky, semi-ghetto pawn store type stuff. Jesus here, with his Barbie-like face, and not only diamond-set eyes but also diamonds in his crown of thorns, takes the cake. I'm actually offended by this piece. Jesus, who lived a humble life, should not be depicted as a blinged-out accessory. And, if you're going to diamond-set something, why not up the ante and use a higher karat of gold? 10K is only 41.7% gold, after all. Oh, because the diamonds are actually of such poor quality, they're what we refer to as "frozen spit?"

Praise the Lord. And...pass the ammunition.

This ad is almost like a joke commercial on SNL or Mad TV.

Click image to enlarge.

Rings designed to look like bullets. What a nice way to say, "I love you," eh? Ok, maybe if you're Tony Soprano....

What's the tackiest, most tasteless jewelry you've seen recently? Let me know in a comment!


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