Monday, February 25, 2008

80th Annual Academy Awards

Last night was the occasion of the 80th Annual Academy Awards, an event that might not have happened had the writers' strike not ended. Lucky for us, we fashion bloggers have a lot to talk about today, not all of it good.
Click images to enlarge

The big color of the evening was red. Here we have Anne Hathaway in Marchesa, Ruby Dee in dark red satin by Kevan Hall, and the lovely Katherine Heigl in Escada.

Helen Mirren was stunning as ever in a custom made Georges Chakra gown. Teen sensation Miley Cyrus wore Valentino. And Heidi Klum looked fabulous in her John Galliano gown while her husband Seal sported a classically-styled Dior tux.

Black was also very popular this year, very safe compared to the bold reds that dotted the theater. Can't get safer than Laura Linney's very plain yet elegant Michael Kors gown. Kristin Chenoweth showed off her lovely shoulders in a less-than-lovely Armani Privé gown that had panels of sheer drapery that made her look hippy. And Hillary Swank wore a one-shouldered Versace. A shame about her face.

Jennifer Garner gave credit for her Oscar de la Renta gown to her stylist, Rachel Zoe. The dress is nice, but it did terrible things to Garner's boobs. Visibly pregnant, Nicole Kidman wore an unflattering Balanciaga draped with cascades of diamonds by L'Wren Scott that didn't work well with that too-wide neckline.

Doing their own color thang were Jennifer Hudson in a white Roberto Cavalli that squashed her breasts in an odd way and showed off her back fat. I thought she looked pretty, despite the dress. Faye Dunaway looked like she stepped out of a different decade with her long frosted hair and a Pamella Roland gown that appeared to have been constructed out of Godiva chocolate boxes. Kelly Preston looked lovely in that shade of egg yolk yellow, but her breasts looked a bit on the schlumpy side in the Roberto Cavalli gown.

Cameron Diaz rolled around in her bedsheets and headed out the door. But she still looked pretty darn good. (Actually she wore Dior by John Galliano.) Cate Blanchett wore Dries Van Noten. Something about it just seemed too casual for the Oscars, but it was better than the one she wore for the SAG awards. Keri Russell posed a lot in her Nina Ricci gown, but it didn't look like she particularly wanted to be there. She's far too skinny, her dress was boring on her and didn't seem to fit properly.

Tilda Swinton wore a gown from the much-lauded Alber Elbaz for Lanvin, but looked like hell with her carrot-top hair and absence of make-up. She claims never to have watched the Oscars. But surely she's watched other awards shows? Diablo Cody wore a Dior by John Galliano leopard-print silk chiffon gown that just didn't work with her quirky style. It looks as if she raided Phyllis Diller's closet for a muu-muu. And Ellen Page just turned 21, yet she dresses like an old lady in this Jean Louis Scherrer. And she still hasn't learned how to pose. Someone please introduce these ladies to a stylist.

I shouldn't pick on the kiddies, but something about Saoirse Ronan's Alberta Ferretti dress just wasn't right for her. It was too...nightgown-ish, and I hate the color. I don't know who Rosamund Pike is, or whose plain wrinkled dress she's wearing, but...hello nipples! And maybe it's because she can't possibly look even half as good as George Clooney, in or out of his classic tuxedo, Sarah Larson's Valentino Couture gown just isn't working. I swear I had a dress in that same fabric for my Skipper doll in the 70s.

Worst of all, however, was Daniel Day-Lewis' wife Rebecca Miller. WTF was she wearing? If you took the ornaments off the velvet and lace dress, it's not so bad, if a little dated. But why add the huge crystal flower stuff at the center of the bust AND the ugly red bows from the Christmas tree? And then there's the clown shoes.

Mr Day-Lewis himself looks completely idiotic in his piped-trim tux and BROWN SUEDE SHOES. Shoot me him now.

I love Stacey London, but her dress is rather a boring disappointment. Too much black!

French actress Marion Cotillard wore a Gaultier mermaid dress while Renee Zellweger was in Carolina Herrera. I'm on the fence about the mermaid, but I think Renee looks smashing.

Michael Moore's date (wife? girlfriend? sister?) looked wide and stumpy in her ugly lace dress that looked like a repurposed prom gown circa 1982.

Nice to know that the Oscars aren't considered an occasion worth washing one's hair for.

At first I thought this was Drew Barrymore in a suit. (ETA It's Steven Cojocaru.)


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