Thursday, March 6, 2008

Project Runway - Finally!! I Mean...Finale, Part Two

The long relatively drama-free season full of professional, established designers has finally come to a very predictable close. Glory be!

The Beginning: Pre-Show Jitters
The episode starts out showing three very excited and nervous designers pondering the biggest thing in their fashion lives to date. Rami, Jillian, and Christian head to their workspace to show Tim what they've brought for the runway. Through the magic of editing, we find that maybe Christian isn't the golden boy after all. Tim thinks his collection is overworked. Rami remarks that "Christian really needs to learn to design clothes for women, not just models." And the lad himself has lost a bit of his cocky strut and admits that his competitors are both really good designers and there's no predicting who would be the winner.

All this, of course, led me to start believing that Christian was the winner.

The model casting session is next, and it doesn't seem they spend as much time on the process as in other seasons' finales. Jillian does a lousy job of choosing hers and whines about it for most of the rest of the episode. Yawn.

Is it me, or did Jillian knit up some his-and-her sweaters for herself and Rami?

Collier Strong returns! Nathanial designs hair! The designers show up at Bryant Park before dawn to marvel at how big the place is! We see mini drama with Christian's models being "super, super late." And finally - the show! I've already offered my opinion on the designers' collections in previous posts, so I'll just give you some of my observations from this week's viewing.

The Middle: Runway Shows
Jillian goes first. It's more obvious that her knitted hats are actually mohawk-shaped when you see them from an angle other than head on.

At the commercial break, we see a commercial for some horrible Disney Princess dolls. Who, exactly, is Bravo marketing to by showing these commercials at 10:30 pm during Project Runway? Future gay fashion designers? Or does the allure lie in the line, "when you brush my hair, my jewels twinkle?" That bon mot could be attributed to PR contestants from Austin Scarlett to Kayne Gillaspie to the one poised to win it all, Christian Siriano.

They show Victorya in the audience, and she's wearing the same "someone pooped in my mouth" look that she sported in the reunion show.

Why did Rami choose the model who wore his gold gown? She was terrible.

Carmen Like the Opera Webber Like the Baller was in the audience and whispered something to Marion Lee during Christian's show while wearing a sour expression on her face. Was she dissing Christian, or just pissed off that she didn't merit a seat in a row closer to the action?

Lets listen in on some other runway sideline conversations:

The End: Judging Commences
Jillian gets judged first. They call her innovative and everyone seems to love her knitted pieces and find them unexpected. But they also think that they "lost the essence of Jillian." The majority of comments, however, are highly favorable. Buh-bye Jillian, you just got the kiss of death.

Next is Christian. Guest judge Victoria Beckham thinks his collection is "major" and makes her smile but most of the comments have a negative edge. We hear "repetitive," "monotonous," and "overworked."

It's looking more and more like Christian is going to win.

Rami is last. Heidi loved his woven pieces, but Michael thought he used "Brady Bunch" colors. He also thought the collection included every category of dressing, from soup to nuts. (Yes, I realize there's a bunch of Photoshop masterpieces waiting in those two statements, but I'm just too tired.) Nina thought he had a strong point of view, and that his strength was evening wear. Kors also called him "cerebral." It was a mixed bag of comments, but largely positive, so I knew that Christian won.

Jillian was the first to go. Call Emeril Lagasse, hon - he'll help you make a batch of Essence to replace the stuff you've lost. Then there were two on the runway. Christian's lip quivered as he held back tears; he finally loses it when he is announced as the winner. Big surprise there, huh?

Sigh. I really had no strong feelings about any of them. Any of the top three, four, or five could have won and I'd have felt the same way. During the course of the season, I neither particularly loved nor hated any one designer, although from time to time I was vigorously annoyed.

They are going to start casting for Season Five any minute now so they can start filming this summer. I hope Bravo gets smart and picks more amateurs and nutcases next time around! In the meantime....check out my suggestions for next season.


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