Thursday, August 14, 2008

Project Runway, Episode Five

After doing so well last week with keeping gratuitous catchphrases in check, Blayne has to throw in a "dramalicious" as he leaves his Atlas apartment. I cringe to think what he'll have Tim saying by the end of the episode.

The designers meet up with Heidi at Parsons for the weekly, "this is a contest for your models as well, blah blah blah," zzzzzz before giving the Kiss of Death to the now former Boring Twin model. She then informs the designers that there will be no field trip this week but that they will be designing an outfit for a high-powered professional woman.

This client is not Heidi, apparently. She dresses for a whole 'nother kind of "profession."

In the workroom, Tim tries to rally some excitement for the challenge by telling the designers they will be working on a day-to-night look.

Stella hopes it's Sharon Osbourne. Sorry, I don't think a woman whose claim to fame is being married to one of the world's most famous burnouts and mother to two children who needed rehab before their twenty-first birthdays counts as "high-powered." But, I guess it all depends on your definition of "high."

Instead, it's that target for Scientologists everywhere...Brooke Shields.

Blayne feigns excitement. If he doesn't know the Beatles, how on earth does he know Brooke Shields? Was he even born when she was at her peak of famousness? (Which would be age 13.)

Stella is a little disappointed. Brooke Shields probably won't like leatha. And her children are still too young for rehab.

The designers ponder the challenge and their client.

The challenge is to design an outfit for Brooke's character in Lipstick Jungle, Wendy Healy, a movie executive who is a bit "bohemian." This will be a team challenge (groans all around). Each of the twelve designers gets a couple minutes to throw together sketches and then pitch them to Brooke. She will then choose 6 of her favorites.

The designers are so earnest and some of the sketches so daffy, it's a wonder Brooke doesn't just burst out laughing. Particularly at Blayne's vision that includes shorts. For a high-powered movie executive. I mean, come on, can you see Harvey Weinstein in shorts during a business meeting? Wait - yeah, so can I. Distressing. And Stella suggests a leather corset, to which Brooke responds, "I have to wear this to work." Eek, now I have a mental picture of Harvey Weinstein in a leather corset....WITH the shorts.

After Brooke announces her choices, Tim draws names so the designers can each pick a partner with whom to squabble over fabric and potentially throw under a large multi-passenger mode of transportation.

Blayne picks Leanne, Keith picks Kenley, Korto takes Joe, Terri picks Suede, Kelli picks Daniel over Stella and apologizes, and Jerrell is left with Stella. But he's using leather, so he's not upset to be stuck with her.

The winning design will be worn by Brooke in a season two episode of Lipstick Jungle. Thus, there will be no immunity in this challenge.

The designers visit Mood and start the bickering. Kenley picks out a floral fabric that looks like 1970s Contact paper. Keith doesn't like it and neither does Tim. They choose another. Back at Parsons, she whines that the fabric he is using looks a bit South Beach.

Terri turns out to be a control freak, and Suede quite the opposite. He was sure that they didn't have enough fabric for the flowy top she designed and panicked over cutting it and then stitching it together. She was all like, "I don't know what he's packin', balls or vajayjay...." She looked about to smack him and rip the fabric from his trembling, sweaty hands and do it herself. Actually, it would have been fun if she had done that. Instead she lets him finish it and then pronounces it "all jacked up."

Tim sends the models in for an early fitting. Kelli is unhappy with the work Daniel did on the skirt for her ensemble, calling the zipper "all swobbly." Swobbly? Jacked up? Holla atcha boi?

Tim comes in again later to do his mentoring bit. He's dubious about Kelli's look. Terri is still concerned about Suede and the blouse and that in turn concerns Tim. And once again Tim razzes Kenley on her choice of ugly floral material when the South Beach fabric is obviously so much better. Who knew he had such a mean streak?

The next morning, after yet another completely unnecessary "dramalicious" from Blayne, the designers have a little time to complete their outfits. Tim was stunned to see that "people are still sewing, question mark?"

Eventually everything gets done. Let the battle begin!

But what happened to your hair?

Just fire your stylist, ok?

Korto and Joe's outfit, with a jacket that Tim said looked like a sweet potato, was safe. I'm not sure of the day/night aspect of the outfit. With the jacket is for day? or night? The dress was rather plain so it too could have gone either way. I can't see Brooke Shields wearing anything so bright. Korto was fully prepared to throw Joe under that large multi-passenger mode of transportation, would that have been necessary, but they, and we, were spared the effort.

Terri and Suede's outfit was also safe. I think it was too casual for high-powered professional workwear, and maybe not flashy enough for a night on the town, but it was nicely put-together, despite the strife of the day before. I'd wear it.

The unlikely combination of Jerrell and Stella made for one fabulous outfit that was in serious contention for the win. Now *that* is how to use an animal print or two! And the color combination is just perfect. Michael Kors thought it was impeccable, and sexy without looking cheap.

The other favorite was Keith and Kenley's Kreation. Can Keith do anything but attach floofy pieces of material to a skirt? Is He the Fleurchons of Season 5? Nina thought the dress was more cocktail than work attire, but Mikey liked the combined aesthetic of the two designers.

Brooke apparently loved it because this was the winning design. Ehhh...I don't like the skirt and the "blouse" was too much like a scarf that happened to get caught in her belt. And what's around her neck?

On the opposite end of the scale, that is the ugly one, we have Kelli and Daniel's un-sexy and quite cheap-looking outfit. An example of how *not* to use an animal print.

Kelli's original drawing was of a leopard-print sheath dress that appeared to be completely ruched. Appropriate for an evening on a street corner, but not for day. Not sure why Brooke thought something like that would work for her. For Samantha Jones, maybe. In his defense, Daniel insisted that his taste was very high end. Kenley got a big laugh out of that statement, which probably means she's now his former BFF.

The other contender for bottom two was Blayne and Leanne's mis-matched ensemble. More Gossip Girl goes to Summer Camp than Lipstick Jungle. It's far too casual and not sophisticated enough. Heidi thought it looks like the girl dressed without a mirror. Nina thought Blayne didn't follow directions. And Brooke wondered why she started smoking crack at the exact moment she had to pick the designers for this competition. Or maybe Blayne gave her the zombie eyes and babbled on about tanning and she agreed to choose him just to shut him up?

After some debate, the judges decided that Kelli needed to go. Blayne is too entertaining to auf quite yet, despite those ugly shorts.


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