Thursday, September 4, 2008

Project Runway - Eight is Enough!

We start off the episode at the Atlas, where the designers are lamenting the loss off Keith. Well, not really.

Suede only misses him because it means he has to move in with the other guys, and having new roommates is like starting over. Huh?

As in past episodes, Stella seems to have trouble with the simplest of things. This time it's making coffee.

Finally, after bonus extended scenes of Kenley combing her hair and applying makeup, the designers troop down to Parsons to receive their challenge du jour.

After the Weekly Aufing of the Model, Heidi brings out a "special guest" who turns out to be Tim Gunn. Sure, we love Tim and all that, but he ceased to be special a couple of seasons ago already. Tim takes the designers on another field trip to meet a fashion legend; the designers immediately start speculating as to whom this legend might be.

Blayne wants to marry Mary Kate. Who would think Mr Tanning Fiend would find the Crypt-Keeper's Daughter attractive? Or any woman attractive, for that matter?

The designers continue to ponder the identity of the legend even after entering this store front.

When Diane Von Furstenberg makes her entrance down a very long stairway that must be hell on her antique knees, Kenley starts hyperventilating.

Foreign Affair is a 1948 Billy Wilder romcom starring Marlene Dietrich as a Nazi femme fatale. I've never seen the movie, but it's apparently got something to do with Shanghai as well as Berlin, although I can't find that mentioned anywhere online, not even in the original New York Times review. Anyway, the big prize this week is that the winner will have his or her design produced and sold exclusively to those elitist snobs - American Express cardholders (hello, me!).

Additionally, monies raised would support the CFDA. CDFA? The Colorado Funeral Director's Association? The Cowboy Fast Draw Association? The Catalog of Federal Domestic Assistance? The Chicago Furniture Designers Association? Ooohhh...the Council of Fashion Designers of America! Why didn't you say so? So not like a charity for the sick, or children, or animals, or disabled veterans? .....huh.

Instead of shopping at Mood, the designers get to choose their fabrics from DVFs stock room, and they leave it rather a mess. S'ok - that's what interns are for.

Back at Parsons, the designers decide on their looks. Terri is going to make some "sickening" pants. At least that's what I think she said.

All of the designers are suddenly really competitive and aren't as free in sharing their ideas and what they are working on with the others as they had been in the past. But they're getting into the feel of things by pretending to be spies. ( it a spy movie?) Leanne even goes so far as to pretend to be sneaking around the workroom, peering over tabletops.

Leanne probably imagines herself as a fierce jungle cat, but really, she's more like a hamster.

Krybaby Kenley?

With everyone hard at work, Tim comes up to ponder their looks and dole out the weekly allowance of catchphrases, "talk to me," "make it work," "I'm concerned," and "holla atcha boi."

In this episode we are treated to not one, but two scenes of the designers eating. Stella is stuffing her face in both of them. How does she stay so slim?

She also talks with her mouth full.

The next day, Tim encourages the designers by telling them they can possibly knock DVF's stilettos off. Or not, as the case may be. After a trip to the Corporate Sponsorship Beauty Lounge, it's time for the runway show!

Heidi comes out looking uncharacteristically conservative with a skirt long enough that there's no fear of a vajayjay sighting should she happen to bend over. Unfortunately her make-up artist took her smoky eye look too far into the realm of raccoon eye.

First I want to mention Blayne's design. He was safe, and from the waist up, I can see why. However - wtf are those clown pants?

Heidi really took Kenley to task for making only one simple dress and not creating several pieces. She mentioned that the DVF Lookbook they were provided with featured layered looks. Yeah, but DVF also featured some looks that were simple dresses as well. Luckily, the other three judges came to her rescue and piled on some compliments so she wouldn't burst into tears again.

Welp, that didn't work.

Kenley was merely safe this week, as Leanne grabbed the win for the second week in a row. The dress is gorgeous, and the coat is cute, but I think it might be better if it were a little more shrunken, as Tim had suggested. I wouldn't wear the pieces together, but if I had the body, I would definitely wear them.

Now on to the fug. What was Joe thinking? This was a real piece of garbage. It looked cheap, was too sparkly, and the back seaming was ass. Mr Minx immediately dubbed it a "hot tranny mess" as it came down the runway. It's just plain awful. But Joe lives to sew another day.... Stella's outfit is declared to be even worse. Frankly, I don't think it's bad at all. So the cape was more "Dracula" than a 40s silhouette. Did you provide copies of the history of fashion for the designers so they could be historically accurate? Or did you let them watch the movie before they started? No, I didn't think so.

Michael Kors had an issue with the way the pants fit in the crotch. I wasn't seeing what he thought he was seeing. I assume he noticed the dreaded "polterwang" (one of my favorite Fug Girls coinings).

So goodbye, Stella! We'll miss you and your leathery personality. I'm sure you're eager to get back to your sweetiepie Ratbones anyway.

That's the spirit!


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