Thursday, September 11, 2008

Project Runway - Nein!

The show opens, as usual, with scenes of the sleepy designers getting ready for another grueling day of design. Terri seems quite delighted that Stella is gone. Just because Stella's coffee was too strong? That's a little harsh. But maybe so was the coffee.

Over in the boys' room:

Back at Parsons, after the boring weekly Model-Auf (yes, I know it's a competition for them as well, but why does Bravo waste so much time on it in the recaps? Don't they know I'd rather see more scenes of the designers squabbling? Plus that's the only place I can get images for my recaps.) Heidi brings out some special guests...

...all of the designers who have been cut so far this season, from Jerry to Stella. They will be forced to work as assistants to their former fellow competitors who still have a shot at Bryant Park. Why should the auf-ed designers want to play nice and work with someone who has done better than them in the competition? Wouldn't this be a great time for some sabotage?

Unfortunately, it seems that most of the designers are far too nice to even consider something like that. Too bad.

The challenge involves some dreaded words of which few people besides Tim Gunn understand the meaning - create an avant garde look inspired by the astrological sign of one of the two designers from each pair of Auf and On. So what does "avant garde" mean? Suede knows.

Tim has the designers line up by astrological sign and then chooses their partner via the Holy Black Velvet Bag. ::::kneeling in reverence::::

Korto gets Kelly, Kenley works with Wes, Joe has Daniel, Leanne gets Emily, Blayne has Stella, Jerrell works with Jennifer, Suede with Jerry, and Terri gets stuck with Keith. The designers are told that this will be a two-day challenge. They have thirty minutes to "caucus," picking one sign of Zodiac with which to work. "Dossiers" are provided for each sign.  Hey, Tim, the political conventions are over already....

After the customary trip to Mood, the designers commence to sewing and bitchery. Mostly bitchery.

Kenley is thrilled with her idea for the challenge and is not afraid to say it out loud, much to the consternation of some of the other designers.

Tim comes in for a little consulting and is not quite as sure of Kenley's design as she is.

He also hopes there's "good synergy" between Terri and Keith. Well, if you call one partner being bitchy and the other one crying, "good," then ok.

The next day, the designers find a note from Heidi saying that they would have to dress their models that evening and attend a "party" at the Rose Center for Earth and Space. The designers are dismayed that they won't get the full 2 days promised to them to finish their designs. Terri slaps Keith around some more, and Kenley continues her bombastic self-praise.

Oh, and the note said that there would be TWO designers eliminated this week.  dum dum DUM!

At the "party" (which sadly seems to be populated only by Project Runway contestants in various stages of drunkenness) Heidi shows off still more special guests to the designers. These special folk turn out to be her "favorite New York designers" from past seasons: Kara Janx, Jay McCarroll, Robert Plotkin, Allison Kelly, Daniel Vosovic, and Carmen Webber. Oh, and wee Christian Siriano, whose annoyingly squeaky lisp can be heard entirely too well over the chatter.

The former contestants will be looking over the current contestants' designs and choosing the winner of the competition. Heidi decides to pick on Kenley again this week (I am sure it is fun) and wonders about the model's boobs in her Minnie Mouse fantasy costume. I mean...avant garde representation of Aquarius.

She also thinks Blayne's design looks like granny panties and wonders aloud if he has been snooping around the design studio at Victoria's Secret.

On Day three, the designers finally get a chance to finish their outfits and send their models to the Corporate Sponsorship Beauty Lounge for hair and makeup. Kenley takes Heidi's comments into consideration.

On to the runway show!  Today's guest judge is Francisco Costa, of Calvin Klein.  What, they couldn't get another past contestant?  Laura Bennett couldn't find a babysitter this time?

The potential winners were pulled off the runway and left to wait backstage while Heidi and the judges picked on the potential losers.  Then they were brought back out and the winner was announced: Jerrell!  That was a shock, mostly because we didn't get to see all that much of his design on the runway, and we didn't get the scenes where the judges talk to the potential winners about their look.  At least we saw a bit of Tim's not-particularly-complimentary mentoring session, calling it a "school marm's winter coat."  

This isn't the most flattering photo of the look.  In fact, I think it looks like hell.  I can't even tell what sign of the Zodiac it represents, and what's with the drunken Mary-Kate Olson headband? Maybe that's the avant garde aspect of the outfit.  But...congrats Jerrell on a huge win.

I surprised myself by liking Joe's outfit a lot, especially after the ass he created last week.  Still not avant garde, but nice nonetheless.

Kenley's symphony of crazy was safe, although there were some choice words from Michael Kors about it:

Now, on to the losers.  It was pretty obvious that Blayne was saying buh-bye this week with his old-lady underwear-clad chick wrapped up in a gay parachute gone awry.

He didn't get his double air kiss from Heidi, however.  She must have used them all up on Christian.

Our other big loser of the day was Terri, who bitched her way to the bottom.  Even editing out the fake fur collar she had originally used on her Lion King outfit didn't help, as she replaced it with some ugly shiny red fabric that made the model look like she was bleeding heavily from her shoulders.

Somewhere in Mormon-land, Keith is laughing so hard he's crying.

Six designers remain - and the Bryant Park show is TOMORROW.  Hmmm...what's happening there?  Stay tuned.....


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