Thursday, September 25, 2008

Project Runway - Part Eleven

As usual, the show opens to reveal our remaining designers performing their morning ablutions and discussing the performances in the last challenge.

Stop talkin' and start steppin' already!

At Parsons, Heidi emerges from behind the scrim with the Holy Black Velvet Bag.

Time for a model shake-up! Kenley takes Joe's model Carpaccio, and then Leanne shows her bloodthirsty side and gobbles up Suede's model.

Thus three more models are sent out into the world to wait tables and pray for their big break now that their hopes have been dashed by the inconsiderate designers who have the audacity to be aufed week after week.

Heidi sends the final five up to Tim who gives them their challenge: they will be designing for each other! Tim assigns Jerell to Suede, Leanne to Kenley, Suede to Korto, Kenley to Jerell, and Korto to Leanne. If that's not trouble enough, Tim drops a bombshell:

That would have been fun, right? Instead, Kenley is assigned Pop, Suede gets Punk, Korto gets Country, Jerell gets Rock and Roll, and Leanne, appropriately, gets Hip Hop. She immediately gets into the groove and changes her name to "Loop Doody."

Despite the rubber bracelets and blue-tinged faux hawk, Suede insists that punk is not his thing, musically. He reveals he is a classically-trained cellist who played for fourteen years.

I suppose he'd rather be dressing like a classical musician, Yo Yo Ma perhaps. Or Liberace.

Leanne doesn't have a lot of confidence that Kenley can design something that's not 50s style and knows she's going to end up looking more crap than rap. Especially after Kenley picks out yet another hideous floral print from Mood, telling a dubious Tim that it looks like graffiti.

Korto is amused by her impending transformation into a country music diva, putting on cowboy boots and flapping around like a wounded chicken while warbling nonsensically, saying she was line dancing.

Go on, show her, Tim.

Tim's there for the daily dose of mentoring. He loves Jerell's silhouette for Kenley. Jerell insists he's going to bring out the sex goddess in her. Doris Day, anyone?

Then Tim has the nerve to tell Kenley that she's wackadoodle if she thinks those high-waisted grandma jeans is any kind of hip hop. Kenley gets defensive once again.

The next day, Jerell has thoughts of sabotaging Suede, but figures he can do a good enough job of that on his own.

The five of them are given one hour to in the Corporate Sponsorship Beauty Lounge for transformation into their new musical personas.

Then they put on their shiny new duds.

Kenley displays some of her usual braggadocio.

Time for the runway show!

This week's guest judge is LL Cool J, who's putting out a fashion line, so of course that makes him qualified to judge the competition.

Korto's punky outfit for Suede gets the win. Her finely crafted look included bleach-stained jeans and an appliqu├ęd shirt, but anything combining "punk" with "fine craftsmanship" is a costume. Any punk who would wear a t-shirt with chains pre-attached is a poser. Or a 16-year-old who doesn't realize that punk was a movement from the mid-70s, and dressing in that style is as anachronistic as dressing in Kenley's favorite 50s crinolined look.

Speaking of Kenley, Jerell's pop goddess look for her came in a close second. The judges loved it and called it sexy without being vulgar. I guess Kenley didn't flash her va-jay-jay at them after all.

Leanne's country music get-up for Korto was borderline. The judges said nice things about it to her face, but mocked it behind her back, saying it wasn't sophisticated enough. Personally, I think it was awful, particularly that nasty gold belt.

Not as awful as Kenley's misguided attempt at hip-hoppery. The pants were singularly unflattering, the blouse was ugly, and there was too much jewelry that somehow didn't add "bling." The jacket was cute, but it didn't seem like it fit quite right.

Despite the ass-itude of Kenley's design, Suede got the boot. And them's some big boots that Jerell's wearing!

The judges thought that the pants weren't special enough, and that the outfit looked very much like something Jerell would wear anyway. I blame that on the low-cut tank top, which could have come out of his own closet. They did seem to like the vest, but that wasn't enough to redeem the outfit. At least he didn't make him a feathered hat.

Kenley's was clearly the worst of the bunch, so I think Suede was eliminated for other reasons.

Hey, you're lucky you didn't get deported.

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