Wednesday, September 2, 2009

36th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards

Who knew fashions at the Daytime Emmys could be such a bucket o' crazy? Some folks went a bit wild with their gowns, and a handful were actually tasteful and appropriate. Let's get the latter out of the way, shall we?

Days of Our Lives' Kristen Alfonso looked lovely in her blue one-shouldered dress. She's gotten so skinny over the years....

The Guiding Light's Gina Tognoni wore a fabulous scarlet dress with a ruffled front. Really lovely.

Talk show host Wendy Williams wore a simple gown in a rather loud neon-ish yellow, but it really suits her. And her single bracelet accessory is just perfect.

Rachael Ray and husband John Cusimano. I hate to say it, but Rachael looks great. She's not showing off her puny boobies, and that color is fantastic on her. But is he wearing a black shirt with a blue suit? Fuggedaboutit.

Tyra Banks is the picture of subtle. Well, maybe not the color, but this is a very understated and elegant look for her.

Sandra Lee also looked quite nice in her white gown. She might want to lay off the dark eyeshadow though because it makes her eyes look sunken.

Like Kristen, Wendy, and Tyra, 90210's Jennie Garth also chose a bright color, but the simplicity of the dress and the few accessories make this classic and tasteful.

Next up, the passably attractive.

Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres. While Portia looks cute (even though that seems to be a jumpsuit), Ellen seems to be channeling an old Jewish man. A little Woody Allen, a little Larry King. What do you think?

Y&R's Tatyana Ali is wearing an interesting dress that appears to have a photographic image repeated on it. It's a nice simple shape, but the bust doesn't fit seem to properly and the pattern is distracting, mostly because I can't figure out what it is.

Heather Tom from the Bold & the Beautiful looks great from the knees up. The shoes, however, are horrible. From this angle, she looks like she has duck feet.

One Life to Live's Melissa Archer is wearing something better suited for the Oscars than the Daytime Emmys. Nice dress, but a little over-the-top.

Now for the uglies.

As the Word Turns' Terri Colombino appears to be wearing a frock fashioned from either garbage bags or Batman's cape, I can't decide which. Maybe both.

Rachel Zeskind is wearing...ahh...it's awful. The color, the trim, the cape. It hurts my eyes.

DOOL's Rachel Melvin is too young to be wearing such a funereal dress. It's fusty, and what's with the giant flower on her tit? Horrible.

I don't get the dress that Lesli Kay from General Hospital is wearing. Are the gewgaws on her shoulder supposed to be a salute to Michael Jackson? Or is it just a case of Appliqu├ęs Gone Wild?

GH's Laura Wright couldn't be bothered to dress up for the occasion, so she threw on a couple of wife beaters and called it a dress.

Kate Linder from Y&R looks like a piece of Capodimonte china - you know, those awful figurines with the flowers and crap on them that were popular on HSN in the 80s? It's shiny and tacky and makes her look stumpy. Fire your stylist, Kate, and if you don't have one, it's your own damn fault.

Has The Guiding Light's Elvera Roussel become homeless? Did she yank this outfit out of a Goodwill bin? If the coat and dress were shorter, maybe it would work...but then again, maybe not. The coat just looks too big overall. And she's far too old to wear her long hair down like that.

AMC's Debbi Morgan looks like she's wearing a used Hello Kitty tissue. Her boobs look tortured, and that color is just not working on her. She's adorable and deserves something more elegant.

Speaking of elegant, well, you won't find that here. Y&R's Brenda Dixon is just plain tacky, tacky, tacky. She looks like a Wild West saloon whore.

And finally...Y&Rs Stacy Haiduk. While her simple dress with sparkly sleeves is fine, I am appalled by her major accessory...which appears to be a dead cat. Srsly. What's up with that?

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