Tuesday, November 24, 2009

2009 American Music Awards Part 1

On Sunday the 22nd, awards were handed out to a multitude of mostly untalented people the best in music at the American Music Awards. Unlike the Oscars, most people don't bother getting a stylist to dress them for this occasion.

Otherwise, why would pretty young Selena Gomez look as if she had just hunted down and killed the world's largest disco ball and is wearing its ill-fitting pelt?

I'm having trouble finding words to express my feelings for Nicole Kidman's Balenciaga gown, other than "it's ugly." And what's with the stringy hair? At least it looks clean, but I can't say the same for her husband Keith Urban.

Oh, Kelly Clarkson! Did you seriously not notice the way the light-colored sequins make you look like a saggy-boobed old granny? And the ratty growing-out-a-perm-looking hair isn't exactly party-ready.

Julie Bowen's suit isn't just wrinkly, it's not particularly well-fitted and is wholly unflattering. She looks shapeless and tired.

I just plain don't like Carrie Underwood's Theia dress and don't think it suits her at all. It's too poofy/badly fitted/cheap looking, like some Project Runway reject, and the color is too close to her skin color. The matching lipstick is not doing her any favors, either.

Alicia Keys is such a pretty girl, but why does she insist on wearing short dresses that show off her chunky legs and ankle strap shoes that emphasize her cankles? And when the dress is made of grandma's upholstery fabric and a bunch of random sparkly beads, it makes even less sense. Even if it is Giorgio Armani.

No, this isn't Lady GaGa, it's attention whore Bobby Trendy, whom you may remember from the Anna Nicole Show. Or not.

Um, Norwood Young, that look's been done to death already. Literally. Oh, and pissed-off-looking lady in white? Nice saddlebags....


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