Tuesday, February 2, 2010

52nd Annual Grammy Awards

I don't watch the Grammys - I can't stand the way performers are expected to sing these days, with all the melisma and shit. Yeah, I'm old. But I still like looking at photos from the red carpet. Grammy fashions are a little more out there than, say, the Golden Globes, but not much.

Toni Braxton is a lovely woman. But she looks like she's thinking, "Now where did I leave my eyebrows?" And what's with this whole fashion of having one's skirt trail on the ground? I can see if it's a train, but the front of Ms Braxton's dress is too long.

Taylor Swift has a terrific stylist. While this Kaufman Franco frock is a little sexier than her usual, she looks terrific. Her stick-thin figure seems to have a few curves, and her hair and makeup are perfect.

Rihanna wore Elie Saab Couture. I think the neck floof is a bit much for her, as is the too-pale eye makeup which makes her eyes look too far apart.

Pink (in Tony Ward) needs some lipstick AND some eyebrows. And a dress that works better for her.

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi looks ready to hit a Joisey nightclub rather than a quasi-elegant awards show. Those booties are so wrong for a woman so short - they make her look even more stumpariffic than usual. And - where's the poof?

Nicole Kidman wore an elegant black Prada. She's a pale woman, but this black really works on her for some reason. And her arms look terrific.

Black isn't working for Kristen Bell, who looks like she's been cut off at the ankles in her too-long-for-her gown. That thing hangs on her like a sack, which might work if she were statuesque, but she's most definitely not.

Katy Perry wore a dreadful Zac Posen that was too pale for her complexion. I don't like her hair, either. Maybe the look is just too tasteful for the usually outré Ms Perry.

Jennifer Nettles from Sugarland wore a stunning Victoria Beckham design. My favorite look of the evening.

Jennifer Hudson also wore Victoria Beckham. Pretty, although maybe too austere for the occasion.

Fergie in Pucci. Yawn.

Beyonce in Stephane Rolland. I don't think this works for her - it's not sexy enough. And the earrings are too much.

I don't know from Adrienne Lau, but the poor girl forgot her pants. And she has to pee.

Another person who evoked a "who??" from me, Ke$ha looks like she's auditioning for a Pepto Bismol commercial - "upset stomach, diarrhea!"

Who are these people?


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