Tuesday, March 1, 2011

83rd Annual Academy Awards

Was that a snoozefest or what? I know they were trying to appeal to the younger demographic with hosts Anne Hathaway and James Franco, but she's just a squealy fangirl and he needs to allow himself to sleep sometimes. Boring and uninteresting. Bring back Billy Crystal, please! Or Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. Even Bob Hope would be an improvement.

Hathaway did at least look pretty in her umpty-three wardrobe changes, but honestly, fashion is not a substitute for personality.

A preggers Natalie Portman in Rodarte. She won the award for Best Actress, and honestly, I don't get it. I didn't see Black Swan so maybe she's learned to act since the Star Wars presequels. She looked nice, and her earrings were gorgeous, although they looked like they weighed a ton.

Mila Kunis wore a gorgeous lavender Elie Saab that worked perfectly with her coloring. Kudos to her gays.

Jennifer Lawrence in a custom-made gown from Calvin Klein Collection. Love that this young lady chose something low-key and age-appropriate, yet elegant.

Anne Hathaway in Valentino. In most cases, one cannot go wrong with a red Valentino gown.

I'm not all that crazy about blush or "nude" gowns, but Halle Berry looks amazing in Marchesa. She'd look amazing in a burlap sack.

Michelle Williams wore a simple and understated Chanel that actually made her look tall.

Hailee Steinfeld in a tea-length Marchesa dress that she helped to design. The girl's got taste, and she's smart enough to dress age-appropriately.

Helena Bonham Carter wore a dress by Alice in Wonderland costume designer Colleen Atwood. Compared to past wackadoodle red-carpet looks, Ms Carter looks positively staid.

Sandra Bullock in Vera Wang. Gorgeous.

I like Reese Witherspoon's simple black and white Armani Privé, but I'm torn on the 60s Barbie ponytail.

Jennifer Hudson in Versace. Gorgeous dress, tasteful for Versace. But the girl is too skinny now.

Gwyneth Paltrow in a sleek, modern, Calvin Klein. Perfection.

Helen Mirren, in Vivienne Westwood, rarely looks bad.

Penelope Cruz looks seriously boobaceous in her L'Wren Scott. She also looks very happy - and why not, with husband Javier Bardem at her side.

Ok, I've been too nice, and I need to savage someone. How about Cate Blanchett in Givenchy Couture? I don't care that it's Givenchy, the gown looks like a first grader's macaroni-and-paper plate project, accented with bits of yellow and pink deco icing. She looks washed out, and those stiff sleeve things look silly.

I think Scarlett Johansson is a lovely young woman with a fabulous figure, but somehow this Dolce & Gabbana is just not working. I think it's the cut of the neckline and sleeve holes - they look a bit chewed-on. As does her hair, which is a bit too sloppy.

Annette Bening's Naeem Khan is doing her no favors. Her boobs look smashed, and she has no waist. Suprising, because recently she's looked amazing on the red carpet.

Nicole Kidman in Christian Dior. I don't love it, but I don't hate it, either. It's kinda bridal.

For the most part, I  love Amy Adams' L'Wren Scott gown, and that she paired it with emeralds, but her upper arms look distractingly thick, which I think is an illusion caused by the contrast of her skin with the dress and the snug cap sleeves.

Marisa Tomei in vintage Charles James. I think it's lovely, but it would have worked better on a gal with bigger boobs. Or maybe it's that the sweetheart neckline seems a bit too high on her.

Melissa Leo said  Marc Bouwer "built" this dress for her, which is a bit of costume-designer language. It's...ok. In a still picture it's fine, but when she was moving, she appeared to be wearing an oversized and over-starched crocheted doily like the ones my grandmother used to put on her coffee table. That said, congratulations to Ms Leo on her Best Supporting Actress win. Because she was on Homicide, filmed in Baltimore, I can't help but think of her as a homegirl.

Photo Credit: Wireimage.

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